hugefan's blog
Seeking Dream Boat for my 100th Official Meet
Just as the millennium wasn't really 2000 years after the birth of Christ (there was no year zero AD folks) my 100th meet will in fact be about my 110th meet of different opponents. For some scandalous reason when someone leaves the site they no longer count as one of your past opponents so like the penny machine at the fair ground I add one on and two or three drop off, the ever elusive 100 star next to my name never appears. Why do I care? Well I don't really but like the millennium, it may have no real significance but it is symbolic. Or put another way - I WANT MY STAR !
To those of you who I met and then decided to leave the site, let me just say -
1/ If you have a boyfriend just tell them you wrestle or keep your secret hobby better hidden so you don't end up being caught out, having relationship threatening fights and have to leave the site
2/ If you are married to a woman just don't get caught
3/ If you decide you don't like wrestling and zumba is more your thing, just leave your profile on here, the little pink egg timer won't kill you, just think of me and my HUNDRED STAR
Having established I am being robbed, cheated and conned out of my rightful star I would now like to advertise for candidates for my 100th official meet. You may say but you are only on 98 what is the rush but I have a horny teddy bear lined up for 99 and I think my100th should be my fantasy perfect wrestler (no offence teddy I am just day dreaming here)
So - my requirements, these are very modest -
1/ Perfect body (to clarify, I have very broad tastes, Brad Pitt, Alec Baldwin in his younger days, Hugh Jackman, most of the cast of Home and Away would all do and I am not a height facist, small but perfectly formed is fine)
2/ Someone who thinks I look good (no point in meeting Brad or Alec if they say what's up tubby?) So that may require someone with sight problems or good acting skills hence Brad, Alec etc etc
3/ Someone who enjoys (or at least doesn't object) to having their nipples played with, purely as part of the art of wrestling obviously
4/ Someone who won't snore when I waffle
5/ Someone who will never leave the site, so that I can forever point to them, blush and say -' I met them, you know'
6/ Either a good wrestler or a good jobber or both, I want to get sweaty
7/ Ideally someone who will meet me more than once (there are some who have you know)
If you fit four out of seven of the above criteria please apply in writing to my profile address, if you fit one or two of the above please also apply or in fact if you have even read this blog and live on the same continent lets meet or if you ever intend to holiday in the UK or have seen any film with said actors or an episode of Home and Away, you will probably do.
What have I got to offer in return -
1/ The longest recommendation you will ever get (who needs five recommendations that say you are a good meet, safe and sane when you can have one waffle fest that fills your whole screen)
2/ A promise that I will never remove my profile, if the cats find out about my secret hobby I will let them blackmail me for catnip before I remove it)
3/ A work in progress but less lardy body, I may still get chunky rather than hunky but the thighs aren't bad and I have something closer to triceps than bingo wings now.
4/ I am pretty reliable, I know it's not glamorous but if I have to cancel last minute it will be due to death, plague or serious injury not just because I forgot Home and Away was on (there is always catch up)
Interested? Anyone? Please......
boston kid (75)
10/24/2015 11:22 AMFantastic blog! You made me laugh so much. Good luck on your 100th. I am sure they will be gorgeous!! All the best, Mike
wanna roll (3)
10/24/2015 12:06 PMHugefan is a fun guy and a fantastic wrestler, who ever gets his 100th will have captured quite a prize.
Hope you get your official 100th soon mate!