davey123's blog

The Adventures of Davey123.
Part 1.
They had corresponded for some while now on that marvelous online site, such a life-line for wrestlers of all types, Meetfighters. Of course, as usual it had been the pic which first attracted Davey. He didn’t really have a ‘type’ that he liked to wrestle. It was always the actual wrestling that fired him in all ways, and he was always happy to try and fit in with what an opponent liked and wanted wrestling-wise. Davey had long ago discovered that it was far better to be really up-front and clear if there was something that he did not want to do on the mats. For many years that had included a ‘no punching’ policy, but more recently he had discovered that including ab and maybe pec punches added another very enjoyable element to bouts, especially (heh heh!) if he was able to trap an opponent with a hold or ride that left the man open to some testing abuse! Or,…..vice versa!
So, when he had seen the picture of this chunk of a man, and then read his profile, Davey had immediately let his imagination riot in thinking through what a bout would be like with this man. Fuck. Would he absolutely get slaughtered and humiliated by him on the mats? This guy was big….heavy….at around 105kg of what looked like hefty, solid muscle mass. Those legs! Oh my God!! Though the pics did not look model-posed, the thick heavy mass of the thighs was obvious, with them flaring outwards from the hip and the individual muscles which made up the bulk of the leg mass were visible. Lightly haired with black hair, those legs looked like they had real power. Oh so good!
Davey was maybe 92kg, so it was not a massive difference. But Davey knew from past experience that if a guy was over the 100kg mark and knew how to get on top and ride there efficiently he could become rapidly exhausted trying to escape to get into a better position.
Maybe the last two years of the private BJJ lessons that Davey had been taking would finally have begun to give him some better skills, he had sheer brute strength and was stubborn about never submitting. But maybe now he could cope better with the big lads. Well anyway,….he was about to find out.
He knew that Andy like submission action – sort of promission but with some BJJ stuff mixed in. And then there was the fact that Andy was about ten years younger than Davey. Hmmm. As Davey ascended the staircase in the dilapidated industrial building in which Andy had hired a mat room, Davey had that familiar kind of excitement and nervousness about meeting another guy for a competitive bout. His stomach was, - what was it? Just not normal! It reminded him of the place in Manchester which he had visited so often. But the smell was different. Some buildings just have a very distinctive smell about them, and this staircase had the lingering, slightly sickly sweet smell of weed about it.
It was 6.30pm and the light had begun to fade. The erratically-positioned bare light bulbs of the staircase seemed stark and yet too feeble to create any clarity. Was probably just as well, it didn’t look as though anyone had cleaned it in years. In any case Davey was starting to enter his pre-match inner concentration and noticed his surroundings less. Somehow his brain and body was gathering itself for the battle with his opponent which was now imminent at last.
Fourth floor. Door marked with a skull and cross-bones. Very funny. But even so it made Davey just that little bit more nervous. He pushed at the door as he had been told to do and with his rucksack on his back angled himself through the doorway.
Immediately inside the door was a huge matted area. Dark blue mats he thought, but as the lights positioned at the sides of the large room were not strong it was slightly difficult to tell what the real colour of the mats was. At least they seemed to be in good condition – thick quality and clean. There was a faint residual smell of sweat and what was it….maybe some kind of liniment? Whatever it was, the smell seemed to arouse Davey. He felt heavy. His workouts had been going well and he could feel his own muscular power in a kind of slight tightness about his body and limbs.
Davey stood at the edge of the mats now slightly uncertain about what to do. The place as silent and seemed deserted. Where was Andy? A vague smile passed over Davey’s face as he thought of Andy’s Meetfighters name ‘Agony Uncle’. A good play on words. Maybe the guy had a good sense of humour and they would have a relaxed time together. But the series of exchanged messages had suggested that he wanted a competitive bout. And that he enjoyed punishing and dominating an opponent. What was it that had particularly stuck in Davey’s mind. He thought for a moment….oh yes, ‘…like to submit an opponent but then punish him keeping a hold on until he really tells me.’ Tell him what? That could be just the usual online bravado, but if it wasn’t then maybe this would be a painful match. But two could play that game thought Davey. And he knew how to dish out pain.
He called out, ‘hello….?’. Davey hated the sound of his own voice – he had tried to sound manly, but still felt self-conscious. A second or two later came a reply from an open doorway at the side of the matted area, ‘get ready mate, I’ll be through in two mins….be ready!’. Well ok, thought Davey. What did he mean by those last two words ‘be ready’? No chat?
He pushed off his trainers and peeled the tight jeans down his legs and off. Used his feet to pull his socks off, treading on one sock at a time….saves bending down! It only took a second to pull his sweatshirt off with his T shirt still inside it. Davey stood there naked for a second or two. He had noticed that one wall was mostly mirrored and he vainly admired his chest, shoulders and legs for a few seconds, angling himself for the best views. He wished he had better abs. They were strong but not really defined. The rest of him looked as a wrestler should look. His arms were around 17.5 inches – the result of grimly determined work in the gym. But really his best parts were his back and legs. There was thick bulk there which had taken years to build. On with the speedos – his nice new light blue ones which he felt showcased the heavy rounded shape of his ass well.
Davey was about to try out a double bicep pose when he caught sight in the mirror of Andy appearing in the doorway on the opposite side of the mats. Fuck, oh fuck! His breath caught suddenly at the sight. He was much bigger than Davey had imagined from the pics. Shit. He looked like he was 120kg not the stated 105kg. There was barely enough time to notice the extreme pumped-up, wide chest with its pattern of short dark hair sparsely spread over the central zone, and disappearing in a funnel shape pointing down into the tight black square cuts he wore. But you couldn’t miss the vast solidity of the traps and shoulders. But Holy Hell!! The legs….
But there was no time, because with a strange kind of suppressed low snarl, Andy charged across the mats just as Davey spun round. Andy hurled himself at top speed into Davey’s mid torso and the two men crashed onto the mat. Davey was stunned and taken by surprise by this abrupt attack. Andy was already half on top of him and one of Andy’s huge hands immediately pushed Davey’s face back…the hand smothering his entire mouth and face in an open bear’s claw. Davey’s head was slammed back against the mat, and he let out a yell of alarm and surprise. What the fuck was this? Andy was starting to shift more of his weight onto Davey, straddling him and sliding his chest upwards onto Davey’s chest, still with the hand shoving Davey’s head down. Davey caught his scent of shower gel. Though Davey had been taken by surprise he had wrestled some really rough bouts in the past and knew how to take care of himself given half a chance. He didn’t like to risk injuries but was not just going to take this. He grabbed the hand which was on his face with both of his own hands, holding the sides of that massive paw and with fierce force wrenched the hand off his face and bent it back towards the wrist of his aggressor. Simultaneously Davey planted one of his feet as close to his own ass as he could and bridged up vigorously, pushing the back of his head down onto the mat and shoving his hips way up. This combined series of movements satisfyingly helped him to buck his opponent sideways and using the trapped bent hand to force him over further Davey rapidly mounted Andy. Within a second or two he was now on top with Andy’s hand viciously bent, causing his arm to be bent backwards on itself, so that his elbow was pointing at the ceiling and the arm fully folded. Davey noted the thick bulging forearm – made all the more impressive by being folded tightly at the elbow. Davey was now able to bring his shoulder to push against the triceps of the arm he had captured whilst at the same time pulling the trapped wrist more towards him with both of his arms. Andy’s hand was forced flat onto the mat beside his own ear. Davey heard Andy grunt. This was probably not enough to get a submission, especially at this stage of the match, but it was a painful position to get caught in, and Davey capitalized on it by pushing more of his weight through his shoulder and pulling the wrist and hand even more tightly towards him. Nasty. Nice. Davey’s feet sought to get a grapevine on his opponent’s legs – mid calf level. With some determined scruffy wriggling he got it and instantly applied a very firm grapevine pressuring the knees and legs of his opponent. Andy was swearing colourfully which pleased Davey. But he didn’t really seem to be fighting back much…his free hand was just resting on Davey’s flared back, sliding around a little on the muscle there.
Davey’s mouth was right beside Andy’s ear as he lay full length on top of him and he whispered into Andy’s ear ‘you fucker…you nearly had me there but now I’m gonna break your fucking arm for you as a reward….ready?’. Davey was already on fire with wrestle-lust. The feel of that muscle under him as it writhed around, flexing as the man tried to turn in the holds, was incredible. Davey felt the mounds of his opponent’s pecs jump into bulky roundness and harden and then soften as Andy struggled to find an escape. Davey lifted his chest slightly just for the pleasure of then dropping down again onto the thick torso of his opponent. Andy’s face was smiling….which was wrong!! He should be grimacing thought Davey! He tightened the unusual arm-lock and Andy did grunt, but then smiled even more widely. Was he enjoying this? Was he enjoying the pain of the hold?
‘C’mon then Davey-lad, do you stuff and hurt me! Let me feel you try.’ He then let out a kind of half grunt, half laugh.
Damnation, thought Davey this guy was immensely strong and resilient too. Davey realized that this arm lock was just not going to result in anything and just as he was thinking about maybe changing to a neck lock of some kind, he felt Andy slide his feet over the mat towards his ass, bending his legs as he did so. Davey could maintain the grapevine like this but it wasn’t so effective. But Davey knew what to do. Already he began to wonder whether Andy had actually much experience of real submission stuff. His profile had said he was a promission expert. But he didn’t have many past opponents.
Staying mounted on his man, Davey slid his feet down so that whilst he still had the double grapevine, his own feet were now resting on the top of his victim’s feet, wrapping around his ankles. Suddenly Davey let go of the arm he had captured and placed both of his hands flat on the mat either side of Andy’s head, sufficient to push himself way up into a piked position, his body jack-knifed, ass lifted high. The result of this manoeuvre was a very sudden painful cranking of his opponents lower legs and hips such as to force Andy to bridge up high to try and lessen the pain. A Bull-Rider submission hold! Davey had learned this one from a nice YouTube vid and had used it to surprise many opponents. It was an extremely painful move….even when used on very flexible opponents. The pressure actually hurt Davey’s feet a bit, but it was so worth it to see his opponent arched upwards and the smile on his face replaced by an open-mouthed expression of silent agony. Davey screwed it on tighter. ‘Submit big man, or I’ll make it worse!’ Davey ordered. The man under him was gasping from pain and surprise. Davey hardly heard his quietly rasped response ‘No! No! No way.’ So. Well then, thought Davey. He held the hold on now starting to sadistically enjoy the pain he was inflicting. ‘Wanna change your mind yet, punk?’ he asked. Davey placed his hands on the outer shoulders of Andy so that he could push himself up even higher thereby inflicting further stretched punishment. Andy bridged a notch higher but did not submit. He was starting to pant with exertion. His abs rose and fell – massaging Davey on top of him weirdly and excitingly. Davey was rewarded with a slow, sirening groan. This was why he had wanted to wrestle this solid hunk who even now was starting to sweat. Davey had one more trick and though he would not normally use this in a friendly, fun bout he thought this man could take it. He shifted his hands from the mounds of muscle which were the hard, striated deltoids of Andy’s shoulders, and allowed his elbows to slide onto the muscle where his hands had been. His hands slid around behind Andy’s head resting on the mat and cupping Andy’s head firmly in position. Davey then started to grind his elbows deeper into the deltoid muscle and simultaneously he lowered his entire torso onto the high bridge his opponent had been forced into. With his head unable to slide back and his hips and legs grapevined in contorted agony by Davey, Andy’s neck now was under very severe pressure. The pain of the hold Davey knew was excruciating. He applied the pressure cautiously but with steady determination. Seconds ticked by with Andy’s breath now becoming noisy. Three seconds. Five. Ten. Shit, thought Davey no-one can endure this – he could feel the panic building in the tremors of his opponents torso which he was riding. Then it came,…….’YES, fuck….YEEESSS, I give, give, give, aaaaaggh!’.
Davey released the hideous pressure he had been applying with the awesome hold and Andy slumped back to the mat with Davey loosely on top of him. Andy was panting. His next words utterly astonished Davey. Andy said clearly with his uneven breath, ‘Fuck, that was soooo good! Man, that was really fun. We are going to have such a great match. Now it’s my turn!!’.

To be continued….very soon!

The reverse head-scissor
A few guys have written (politely!) to ask where is the promised part 3 of my blog on scissoring which was to have been devoted to the reverse head-scissor. So as with the other blogs if you know you’re not interested in this, read no further! I have, in the intervening months since my last scissor blog, managed to conduct some vital market research on the subject which was essential of course! Anyone who wants to join me for further detailed research on this fascinating topic, please get in touch!!
So, what are we really talking about here? This is where I am totally at home. On top of my opponent preferably, with my chest on his abs and speedos, and my legs nicely wrapped around his neck, gripping his face firmly held against my ass. Yes! It is a special pleasure to use one of my Achilles heels initially to hook around behind his neck, then slide his neck up my calf and pull his head in tight against my glutes before entwining my ankles to complete a murderously secure neck scissor. My legs are verging on being too big to keep it mostly on his neck…but I try not to engulf his whole head. The big men with thighs over around 68cm (about 27 inches) can encase your entire head in their legs, but paradoxically this means they can’t really apply the pressure specifically to the neck once they start tightening up the hold. Mine (at 64cm – about 26 inches) have a nice bowl shape in the inner thighs which just seems created to mould around a head and neck quite precisely. If I manage to get the big ridge of muscle that runs down each thigh into the tear drop muscle on the knee located just neatly around my opponents neck, I can put him out very quickly. But why the hell would I want to do that? I have to be alert to avoid that happening sometimes, especially as his face is buried in my ass and my head is maybe resting on his upper legs some distance away which means I cannot always hear how things are developing from his moans and groans. Far more informative are what his hands do. I like to put the hold on quite firmly, but nowhere near submission level at first, so that he becomes confident and comfortable before we really get down to the excruciating business to come. I want to hear him say ‘oh fuck!’ a few times before I really start to harden the muscles of my legs. I flex them whilst they are in position without torqueing my ankles together much…just so that he can feel the change in muscle tone and appreciate the sheer weight and mass of what he is trapped in. Incidentally, if this all sounds a bit boastful and arrogant, remember first I work very hard indeed in the gym to have big solid, muscular legs (you could do that too if you wanted!) and secondly I love being on the receiving end as much as I like doling it out. It’s just easier to write this from a more personal angle, rather than keep saying ‘the man applying the hold’ etc etc.
So once I am in position, I keep his neck and maybe part of his face warm with my legs and see how he responds whilst keeping his face and head well trapped in my uppermost thighs – where they are thickest. Letting him feel their male, hairy, distinct muscle tone. He has some of the weight of my legs resting on his shoulders as they pass over them, and my loins and mid torso keep him pinned down. I love it when guys run their hands up and down my legs and over my glutes….that will always make me flex for them. And I really love it when they say something like ‘oh shit’ when they feel how hard my legs and ass can become when I flex. Though I have worked so much on my legs even I feel it is kind of unnatural how hard they become when fully flexed. Keeping them at 100% flexed is actually quite demanding!! But it is soooo good, when my victim pounds on them and starts pawing at trying to pull them apart a bit. Then it is time for me to use the connection between my ankles and drive my legs together more. I know how incredibly punishing that can be for the man caught between them. His voice will siren upwards. No words…just a wail of sound that tells me how I’m doing. If I keep up the pressure he will maybe start to drum his feet on the ground in panic, usually whilst tapping frantically. But that’s getting ahead a bit. For the first couple of minutes, its about keeping him there, in this extraordinary embrace of the thighs and ass and letting him feel trapped. Maybe with some intermittent pulsing of the power of my legs. Of course, I’ll use some trash talk too…letting go enough for him to hear me as I threaten him with what is going to come…and ask him if he wants to give up already. If we have agreed in advance that he likes trash talk I’ll try and keep it up, but once the scissors are on in serious earnestness he probably can’t hear me speaking anyway. And he won’t be thinking about chat either….his mind will be preoccupied with how to survive in this death grip from my thighs.
That reminds me…I always check to see if his ears are flat against his head and not folded awkwardly by my thighs. I don’t want him submitting just because he can feel his ears being destroyed.
So then some of the real fun begins. Time to raise myself up on my arms…maybe by pushing my hands against the tops of his thighs or by holding the wrists of his extended arms pinned against the mat, or if his hands are not available (because they are busy feeling my legs…reaching back to try and unlock my ankles or planted on my buttocks) I’ll just rear up by doing a kind of push up on the mat. My aim is to pour more weight and torque into the scissor position. It is very effective…I know from being the victim myself on many occasions. I might shake the poor guy underneath using my leg grip around his neck to rock him around. I am bullying him! Oh, how liberating it is to bully him…when society says we must not do that. All the better when I know he ‘enjoys’ it!
And of course in the position that I am on top of him, I can certainly tell if he is enjoying it! I might even encourage that a little by where my forearm or hand gets placed from time to time. Or just take him gently in hand and stroke him a little whilst keeping the hold on firm and hard with my legs. In this position as I tighten up the hold more and more, my legs become slabs of cliff-like muscle. Ridges and striations are detectable. They remain warm and yet implacably brutal. I become determined that he is gonna submit. I feel it in my centre. There is an animal in me that once I have my opponent scissored like this simply enjoys playing with, and torturing, the other man. Testing his resilience and endurance. Challenging him to see what he can take. We both know how it is going to end. He knows from the moment he sees me in my speedos standing about casually and seeing how the heavy, partially-relaxed muscle rotates around my legs as I move about, that my legs will be savage. He knows he wants to experience that. And now he is caught. He writhes around under me. His face is rammed immovably tight against the damp darkness of my ass. Maybe he is sweating by now. Maybe I am too. There is a male musk in the air which he is forced to inhale. He can’t breathe easily. And his neck….is being appallingly crushed. He sees stars. He hovers on the edge of submitting but maybe stays there for just a little too long and blackness begins to edge over him. If he goes limp, I release him. But if his hands are still active and he is moaning we go on. Locked together by my entwined legs, his head being slowly separated from his torso.
If I feel like it, I will tip us both onto our sides. That offers some new possibilities. If I push myself out from him a little I can punch his abs maybe, or grab an arm and tuck it under my torso so that it is trapped. Or simply apply a nice straight arm-bar whilst keeping him trapped. Sometimes I like to roll him about whilst keeping the reverse head scissor in place. That can seem very brutal and a display of dominance over the victim.
Better still is to turn the straight-legged reverse head scissor into a reverse Fig-4. Then I can lean back and grab the ankle of my own bent leg which is locking the hold on and really make it so tight – my calf behind his head now forcing his face ever more into my ass. Rearing up in this position so that I am almost sitting on him. Make him submit like this and then go for the most humiliating version on him, sit right up and back and keep him locked in the reverse Fig-4 whilst I am mounted on him, face-sitting him. As I look down at his torso I can see he is struggling to breath. I can hear his muffled pleadings and cursing. I’ll soon subdue him totally. Maybe it is gentle rolling of his nipples now that will make him compliant. Or maybe I will lay fist after fist into his defenceless abs. I’ll do whatever seems to work for him. Or maybe I will just stabilize my position on him by leaning my hands on his chest.
Yes! This is some of the fun of working the various versions of a reverse head-scissor. We’ve all been there at some point. And there are some world-class exponents of the art here on MF. There are guys on here who have thighs and skills which will cause you unimaginable pain and pleasure as they extort submissions from you. You know who they are! If you don’t – ask me and I will be happy to tell you who I think is absolute reigning monarch of the reverse head-scissor realm. (Your clue is…he’s based in Norway.) Of course, I’ve not met everyone…but…one man that I have met is truly devastating in power and precision of the art of reverse head-scissoring.
And…once the hold is released it is time to just hover over your victim threatening to repeat it…keeping him pinned down with your speedos over his face. Nice huh?

"I'm really looking forward to experiencing your holds some day. In your experience, what makes a guy good at withstanding a hold? I'm hoping that by the time I can arrange a trip, I'll be able to take quite a bit so you can enjoy it. Any tips on how to prepare myself for that?"

A novice wrestler wrote to me recently and asked these questions which in some form or the other most of us will have thought about a bit – probably when we began wrestling. I think it is quite an important one.
Can you remember the first few times you were caught in a painful submission hold? First time in a well-applied Chicken Wing with choke? Or maybe it was just a well applied shoulder lock? Or when you first wrestle a guy bigger and stronger than you and he has you in his side body scissor and you think your ribs are gonna crack and you can’t breath? And what about some of the seriously painful holds…a properly applied Camel Clutch can crank your neck and really stretch your pecs as well as impede your breathing let alone break your back for you. Nice huh? Of course as you probably know already, my view is that a full Boston Crab (or maybe even just the single leg version) is just about as agonising a wrestling hold as there can be if the guy applying it knows just how to play it. But holds like Indian Death Lock or the Twister are fairly testing too! And personally I just love combination holds where you are either applying or suffering from a variety of holds, all in place simultaneously. My five-in-one is great because I can control the pressure of each hold or just work through each one in turn (= five submissions of course hah hah!) before telling my opponent that now I am going to turn them all on at once, and asking him if he wants to give up first. And what about the first time you were choked or smothered in a match…how did you avoid panicking then? I can vividly remember the first time I was smothered totally by a very good wrestler who was also much bigger and heavier than me. I thought I was going to die under him (but, embarrassingly I then discovered just how exciting that was too!)
So what advice would I give a new guy on how to endure/withstand a hold? First thing I would say is don’t panic! The guy you are wrestling should be controlled and he should be able to calibrate how much torque to put into any hold. The big wrestler who smothered me, first with his chest and then his abs, knew exactly when I really had to gasp a breath and was thrashing around starting to panic, and he played with my ability to take his smother very expertly! It’s stupid to really crank up a hold on a new guy who is starting to learn what wrestling is like…it may put him off wrestling altogether and then a potential opponent is lost. The hold should be applied on you evenly without any jerking and with time for you to stretch, or get used to the feeling of the hold, before the pressure is gradually increased. (Always warm up and do some stretching before you start – it’s good to do that together helping one another to do stretches…good ice-breaker action!) The most dangerous guys on the mats are the very enthusiastic but inexperienced ones who have seen stuff but haven’t yet been on the receiving end of what they have seen – so that when they get to apply a hold they really don’t have much idea of how it really feels. If you are a new guy who would like to dish out the punishment, I think it’s essential you get some experience of what it is like to be put in the holds. Then you’ll have a far better idea of what you are doing to someone else when you use some of the potentially really tough holds.
Always make very clear arrangements with your opponent about how you will submit and what signals mean. For example, if you say, ‘I submit’, do you mean that you give up and want him to let go…or do your mean that the pressure at that moment is too much for you and you need him to back it off for at least a while? Similarly, you can decide what tapping your opponent or the mat means. Have a clear understanding between you about what you mean when you say stuff like ‘Yes! Yes!’. That can be misunderstood! Always have a ‘safe word’ which effectively means stop the hold and release immediately. ‘Break!’ is good, or maybe ‘I quit!’. Doesn’t really matter what it is, as long as you both understand what the safe word is. One guy I loved to wrestle with used to use ‘Red!’ which had the advantage of being a very short and clear signal, hah hah!
Secondly (after, don’t panic), remember when you find yourself caught, don’t forget to breath! It’s quite natural when you get shocked by suddenly being trapped in a really painful hold to hold your breath, but don’t! Of course, if you do hold your breath you really aren’t going to last long and you are going to tire out in the match much more quickly than you otherwise would. So, when you find your opponent on top of you with a well hooked hold say to yourself ‘breath….breath….breath’. Shift if you can so that breathing is possible/easier.
Third thing…you have to decide pretty quickly whether you think you might be able to escape or break the hold, or are you trapped in one of wrestling’s many holds which are extremely difficult to escape. If you think you are really caught try to relax and don’t let yourself totally tense up…that is going to make the hold probably more painful. Keep saying to yourself calmly ‘I can take this.’ Count down from 50 slowly to distract yourself and keep control of how it feels that time is passing. (Five seconds of an excruciating submission hold can seem like two minutes!) If you feel you can resist the pressure, what part of you needs to be tense to do that? If a guy has you in a well-applied scissor across your abs then of course tense your abs to resist…you may be able to outlast his ability to apply his maximum pressure. But if a guy has managed to get you into a Twister hold and is turning up the heat on you it’s probably going to be better for you to relax as much as you can so that you become more flexible…that might just cause enough looseness in the hold for you find a way to slip out. Or he might get bored with stretching you (…well, he might…maybe…!?!). Concentrate on your breathing and trying to stay as flexible as you can.
If you enjoy a bit of the pain of submission wrestling (or maybe even you have agreed to ‘job’ for someone - so you agree to be put into submission holds) it’s a good idea to give some clear signs of what level of pain you have. That helps guide the man submitting you so that his application of the hold remains within your ability to take it, rather than him simply cranking it up to the level that he wants to inflict. This means maybe using your voice and short phrases to keep him informed of how you are doing in there! Some guys are very clear by the way they moan/groan and you can tell as their voice goes up and becomes more compressed in the sound just how near to giving up they are. But this could be more active…if you say stuff like ‘Aaagh! No, no please no!’ the guy giving you trouble knows you are finding it tough (or you are a great actor and should be on TV not on the mats!!). Even a simple ‘Fuck, oh fuck!’ tells me I am getting to my victim and should maybe keep the pressure of my hold on him steady for a few moments to see how he copes, before I make him suffer even more.
One guy I wrestle quite often is extremely stubborn about submitting in some holds and can be totally silent whilst he concentrates on distracting himself from the pain. He is quite a challenge to ‘read’ when I have him in a good hold. But even he gives out small grunts and noises, and I know he is sensible enough to tap when the hold reaches his maximum endurance point. Of course it is the responsibility of the man applying the hold to ensure the safety of his opponent, so he should ask his partner if he is ok, and whether he wants to submit often and clearly. Better too much than too little. And he can then tell his opponent that he is going to increase the pressure. Its fun to play with your opponent’s mind a bit. I do this both ways, so sometimes if I am in a hold and it is really challenging me and I can see it’s an effort for the man applying it, I might say ‘Have you started yet? Is that all you’ve got? C’mon give me more man!’. This might just make the man applying the hold think that he is not going to get anywhere with that hold so he let’s go to transition to something else. Conversely if I am applying a hold, I love to smile at my victim and say ‘That’s about half pressure…you wanna try 75% now? Shall I really turn it on now?’ That may persuade the victim to tap, when I was running out of steam and would have had to stop soon anyway.
Do not take risks with joint locks or chokes. A straight arm bar properly applied against the elbow joint is not a hold to try and be very brave in. You may not be able to fight for a few days or even longer if you get that kind of thing wrong! A good wrestler or BJJ fighter knows how to put on a lock relatively lightly and give you the opportunity to acknowledge that he has defeated you with that position and so you should tap. Same with air chokes – which are not much fun to be on the receiving side of. You should agree what your limits are before the match and be prepared to stick to them. Same with sleepers holds…some guys are ok with being put out and many are not. And anyone doing the sleepering needs to have been in those holds themselves to know very alertly when to release. That’s a whole big subject on it’s own really…especially as so many BJJ submission moves can put a guy out, (eg triangle with legs, arm triangle, north-south choke, Brabo/Darce chokes, guillotine choke, anaconda choke etc etc). One of the most dangerous locks is the heel-hook where the guy applying it gets your heel trapped by the lower blade of his forearm and starts to twist so that the knee is cranked. This is extremely precarious for the receiver because it has been established that for many guys the pain does not come on until damage has already been done to the knee joint. If you are rolling with a BJJ guy you should always agree to tap out from a heel-hook as soon as he shows you that he has it on and without much/any pressure being applied.
Lastly both guys need to be really aware that if the man taking a hold does decide to try and escape, he is likely to cause his opponent to firm up the hold even more. So both need to be aware that in the ensuing struggle there may come a point where the guy taking the hold suddenly cannot resist any further and therefore the wrestler applying it needs to be ready for that moment so that he does not accidentally then snap on a massive increase in pressure as the opponent’s resistance stops. Maybe a good example of this is when I have turned my opponent into a full crab and have just started to squat down onto his mid back so that he is getting arched back as I sit down with his ankles caught under my armpits. Some guys will submit even before I complete sitting down. But others may start to try and push out of the hold, pushing themselves up on their hands and trying to flip me off by straightening their legs. This means that I have to resist their pressure as I continue to try and apply the hold. I will put more weight down on them and maybe start to pull their legs back more. If the guy underneath keeps this up strongly for a few seconds there will be a lot of counterbalanced force going through the pair of us. If he suddenly stops his resistance (because he can’t keep it up) there is the risk that I will fall back suddenly and heavily on top of him continuing to pull his legs back. That is going to be at the least extremely painful for the man underneath and potentially dangerous. It is my responsibility to be very aware of that. Better to lose the hold and not injure my opponent.
Don’t be discouraged at all by any of this. Being in trapped in a submission hold is part of the extraordinary exhilaration of wrestling. Your will against mine. Taking the pain will release floods of chemicals in your system and you will get high on them…don’t overestimate what you can take because of that. Do enjoy challenging yourself and your opponent in matches which you should be able to walk away from and think…yeah that was great! Whether you win or lose. For me it’s never about win or lose. Maybe it was just a bit when I first started wrestling. Now, it’s about, ‘did my opponent have a good time?’, and of course did I enjoy it as well. You will get calmer and better at taking the pain from your opponent and the range of submission moves as you get more experience. And remember that level of pain which is exciting fun for one guy may be horrible and unpleasant distress for another guy – enough to make him puke. Always get to know your opponent!
One of the greatest pleasant surprises I have had on the wrestling mats in recent years was when I was wrestling a guy who I had not wrestled before and who had not been in a Boston and said he wanted to try it. He was an excellent wrestler who could beat me in competitive stuff (lighter and younger than me than me he is strong, athletic, quick, great technique and a dedicated cross-fit trainer with incredible cardio) and so I really put him through some very hard Boston action, bending him hard and deliberately, in the end making it very tough for him – including some single-leg versions too. He must have taken it for about 4 minutes and at the end of that when he said ‘stop!’, and I let him go, the first words out of his mouth were ‘That was fun!’ I was really surprised, but I was also very pleased. That’s what I think wrestling should be about. Fun. Serious Fun.

Pic is me suffering in a tight Guillotine - should I tap, endure or escape? My opponent was determined!