Ironbull's blog

This is what happens when your train back from Manchester gets delayed.... (for wrestler read any kind of fighter)

Myth #1. "I feel tough when I wrestle". Yeah? You can't fight without intimacy and there is no intimacy without vulnerability. Wrestling comes from the wrestler's inner world. Whatever the nature of that inner world he is letting his opponent enter it with the prospect of exploring and controlling it. Here's one of life's self-evident paradoxes. You wrestle; you let down your guard as soon as you put it up.

Myth #2. "Wrestling for me is / is not sexual". There is no line in the sand beyond which wrestling is or is not sexual. The lines one can draw around sex are only valid for the individual drawing them, and may change as that individual’s sexuality and identity develops and evolves. Notions of straight and gay in the wrestling world are therefore unhelpful and pointless (as indeed they are in society as a whole - remember that rainbow flag?).

Myth #3. "There is a typical wrestler". I have met guys from a huge variety of economic backgrounds, nationalities, intellects, ages, marital arrangements and with all sorts of career paths, social group affiliations, political leanings, and religions. The only common denominator is the wrestling mat.

Myth #4. "No one is going to want to wrestle me". There is no wrestler who isn't the ideal opponent of at least someone. There are guys who want to wrestle guys of all descriptions, abilities and preferences. No one is excluded, so show your face if you feel able. If I would make one exception, it is the deluded a**hole who complains that "ugly fat bears" contact him (yes really!); you are attractive to no one but yourself, matey.

Myth #5. "We wrestle because..." There is no universal cause-and-effect explanation for why people wrestle. The reasons are infinitely varied. 100 British wrestlers could cite World of Sport but their inner relationship with that TV series will be as unique as they are. The journeys from the TV screen to the mat all take very different routes.

Myth #6. "I just want a normal match" There is no normal. The things that make wrestling work are as varied and diverse as the wrestlers themselves. A has a favourite hold. B likes to make an entrance. C just wants to feel explosive power surging through him. D likes the comedy of the match. E has a huge collection of trunks. It goes on endlessly.

Myth #7. "I haven't got what it takes to make a good match or enjoy wrestling". There is no replacement for hard graft to develop your wrestling. That doesn't necessarily mean hitting the gym. It simply means putting in the time, the travel, the commitment and the engagement with others to find your sweet spot.

Myth #8. "It's a one-sided match". There is no such thing as a one-sided match. even in the most structured heel/jobber bout, the wants and needs of both parties must be brought to light for a bout to work in the real world, just as all parties must contribute work and gain reward, in their own way, in any relationship or interplay.

Myth #9. "You want me to do what???". There is no universal taboo. It is not taboo that defines a community. Shared values are usually a description of what is included. The citadel is not defined by its walls. The rules of this site are so effectively enforced that they may be confused with a social code, but really they are simply the practical needs of an internet site. Society doesn't judge us. We don't judge each other.

Myth #10. "I'm getting too old". OK, you're 70 and can't do somersaults. There is no age at which to stop wrestling. It is one of the ways in which we learn about ourselves. I hope I never stop wrestling for its own sake. Life would be mind-numbing if I didn’t get out of my head sometimes, to explore it with a fresh perspective, and to enjoy my opponent in the moment.

Myth#11. "Everyone else is getting matches but not me" (aka "for other people the birdies sing"). That may be so in which case, lucky them. I have heard this complaint many times and noticed that the person feeling blue has a very respectable array of past opponents. So if you have more than a handful of past opponents, blow your nose, dry your eyes and man the fuck up wrestler.