Knees and Hugs

The dry spell is over! I've managed to actually find a guy who is not only BF material, but also into the fighting even if he's not a fighter person himself. But, he wants to learn, so it'll definitely be a learning and training buddy in the long run.

Although, the whole COVID-19/Wuhan Flu is putting a big damper on things. We're self-isolating at work, all relegated to working from home. Trainers and my gym have closed down for the time being, so working out from home as well, mostly in the body weight sort of way. I have some resistance bands, but I'm also low on motivation. Can't even visit the guy during the week because of work things. I mean, we take it pretty conservative right now too.

But, at least I've solved my last few previous entries issues with intimacy. Now I just gotta teach the boy to fight.

They say women play the mind games, but men do it too. Ugh, being a gay man sucks sometimes.

I'd love to just have the mutual fighter husband, someone to share in the training and sexual aspects of fight training, but also just kind of be there. A nice fight-honed body to take my punishment and share in doling it out to me while I work on getting my body a bit more fight-honed. I have really good balance again, though, so that's a big plus.

Anyway, dating has been stupid lately. If it's not some random scammer pretending and failing horribly at being in the military to get money out of someone, it's people who express an initial interest to me based on the fight stuff and then slowly fuck off because they're not feeling "it" for the rest of me. My random interests, travel, work, etc.

Whatever, it will eventually pan out. But the waiting part is bullshit. All just makes me want to fight, which I guess is a plus on its own.

I like being the heel here, and I don't mind the one-sided fights and even the sparring, but what I really want is a jobber that can just take what I dish out like it's nothing. Just a human punching bag that I can strap to a wall (or even straddle on the ground/bed) and just wail the punches, kicks, knees and elbows into their gut and chest, across the face, and they'll just take it and grin back at me and beg for more.

I did find one "straight" dude who loves to do this, but he's not regularly available. And while it does fulfill most of my need, he only wants the hard punches in the gut. I'm very willing to satisfy his urges, so it's not a big problem for me. But I'd really like to just have that human dummy to punish everywhere. Unleash those Muay Thai skills I'm learning, and just beat up a person.

Then there's the two regular flakers with whom I make plans and they just either don't show or don't answer my messages once I've gotten myself all riled up and ready for them. I don't know why I still entertain their messages to me, I haven't met either of them whenever we agree to do something. They want it, but they puss out on me. It's frustrating.

I've had a six-month break in fight training due to finances. But my trainer won his second pro kickboxing fight on Friday, so I'm happy to get back with him and start hurting again. A good hurt, though. No pain, no gain, right?

Anyway, I'm responsible for getting my cardio back up to what it was, so that mostly means a lot of running and shadowboxing, but I'd love a sparring partner instead of just creating a shadow person I'm fighting. Sex counts as cardio too, right?

I really have to work on the teeps and knees again. They all feel odd, but everything I'm throwing upper body feels fine except for the overhand elbows. Can't wait to get back into this though, I've missed fighting so much in the last six months.